This is it!

A part From "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho I Adore

2007-08-13T13:18:00.000+02:00

People who are different are dangerous; they belong to another tribe; they want our lands and our women. We must marry, have children, reproduce the species. When we marry, we are authorized to take possession of the other person, body and souls. We must do jobs we detest because we are part of an organized society, and if everyone did what they wanted to do, the world would come to a standstill. We must buy jewelry; it identifies us with our tribe, just as body piercing identifies those of a different tribe. We must be amusing at all times and sneer at those who express their real feelings; it's dangerous for a tribe to allow its members to show their feelings. We must at all costs avoid saying 'No' beause people prefer those who always say 'Yes', and this allows us to survive in hostile territory. What other people think is more important than what we feel. Never make a fuss, it might attract the attentionof an enemy tribe. If you behave different you will be expelled from the tribe because you could infect others and destroy something that was extremely difficult to organize in the first place. We must always consider the look of our new cave, and if we don't have a clear idea of our own, then we must call in a decoratr who will do his best to show others what good taste we have. We must eat three meals a day, even if we're not hungry, and when we fail to fit the current ideal of beauty we must fast, even if we're starving. We must dress according to the dictates of fashion, make love whether we feel like it or not, kill in the name of our countries frontiers, wish time away so that retirement comes more quickly, elect politicians, complain about the cost of living, change our hairstyle, criticize anyone who is different, go to a religious service on Sunday, Saturday or Friday, depending on our religion, and there beg forgiveness for sins and puff ourselves up with pride because we know the truth and despise the other tribe, who worship another god. Our children must follow our footsteps; after all, we are older and know about the world. We must have a university degree even if we never get a job in the area of knowledge we were forced to study. We must study things we will never use, but which someone told us was important to know: algebra, trigonometry, the code of Hammurabi. We must never make our parents sad, even if this means giving up everything that makes us happy. We must play music quietly, talk quietly, weep in private, because I am the all-powerful Zahir, who lays down the rules and determines the distance between railway tracks, the meaning of success, the best way to love, the importance of rewards. People, does this ring any bells????

The dress:(Part 2)

2007-02-13T18:47:00.000+02:00

"So,what should I do?"I thought,now that I'm in a dark alley and he might put a knife on my throat asking me to give him my purse.Or maybe he was one of those serial killers who would spray something in my face to make me faint and then take me somewhere and rape me.Oh my God! All of this thinking seemed to take so long although it was only seconds when I took the decision and turned around and hit him with my purse.The guy immediately fell on the floor with a bleeding nose. I stood there for a moment(I dunno what kept me standing in the first place!) while the guy kept staring at me.It was too dark to see his features,all I could see is shadows and hear him breathing deeply.He took a napkin out of his jacket's pocket and wiped his nose from the blood and I'm still standing there watching him. He came closer to me and consequently I took a step backwards into a dim light. He stepped closer once more,into the light, and again I stepped backwards. I looked at him and couldn't breathe anymore. I felt my blood running through my veins very quickly that my heart would stop at any moment.I felt a cold shiver running through my arms reaching my nails.I was scared,yet, I didn't move an inch,I just couldn't!My brain is giving signals to my legs to run,yet my legs refuse to obey. It's as if my feet are stuck in the street's cement,and the more I keep standing the more I get scared.He was a tall dark man about 6ft 8in with long dark hair,his features were very simple.His eyes were very defined bordered by thick eyebrows.I kept staring at him until I was distracted by his soft,tender voice "Now I guess is the time that u tell me". HUH! Tell him what?Is he talking to me? "E..e..excuse me?Sir I guess you are mistaken I'm not.."
- " Aren't you tired of all of this?" he interrupted. I was standing there having no idea what he was talking about." why do you keep following me?" he continued.
- "ME?! Well, if I'm the one who's following you then why didn't you hit me with your purse instead?!"
-He smiled and said,"Well, I didn't bring any of my stuff with me,and.. wait a minute, don't try to play smart and get me off point.Answer my question,why are you following me?Why is it wherever I go I see you?". Then we both were silent for a moment, as for myself I didn't know what to reply,I just couldn't think,"I...I..I need t..t..to go",I said, grabbing my bag from the floor and finally I could move once again. I walked backwards and when I finally started to walk faster I was about to turn around when he grabbed my hand and said, "Tomorrow, 4pm starbucks cafe,the one around the corner" and left. Astonished I was to all what happened, I opened my hand to find his napkin in my hand stained with his blood. I watched him walk away in his long dark coat until he vanished completely. I gathered myself and walked him,totally stoned as if I just got out of bed,didn't drink my coffee yet and still can't figure out what's going on around me. All what I was thinking of was, "should I go tomorrow?". I reached my appartment,unlocked the door, stepped inside and locked it behind me, "why am I thinking of all this in the first place? He's a complete stranger to me why should I have a cup of coffee with him? He could be a serial killer and I'm his next victim.Ok, I can't deny there was something about him but I can't use my instinct all the time". All of this thinking and with all day's effort I lied down on my sofa and went into deep sleep.

I woke up finding myself on the floor and the phone was ringing. "Hello?" I asked still sleeping and can't make any sense "Mariam who?Ah Mariam,what's up? Oh my gosh ! Ok Ok! Give me 20 min".I jumped from the floor ,run to the bathroom, took a shower and got dressed up for my boss' daughter's wedding all in 20 min,that's a score! 5 min later,Mariam passed by and together we went to the wedding.

It was a wonderful night,yet all I kept thinking about that guy,"should I go?why he said that I was the one who was following him?" and a lot of other questions I had in my mind but I was interrupted by a voice," You look astonishing tonight! You were born to were that dress!"
-"Well,thank you sir! Your daughter is pretty much beautiful herself".
-"Yes,she is! I'm glad that you came tonight,although you missed the reception,yet you made it up for all of us with your appearance tonight my child"
-"It's an honor,Sir.I'm really glad that your daughter made it to the isle after all those years".

We both laughed,his daughter was well-known or her many adventures with men for like 10 years since she was 18! I wished the bride and the groom an ever-after happiness,wished my boss goodnight and left.I couldn't stay till the end of the night as I was wearied out. All I could think about was my bed and starbucks!

...To be continued

My very first pic!

2006-12-09T02:47:00.000+02:00

Shot at 1 pm but I had to put the effects as I usually do. Not bad for a beginner or what?!
If interested check out this..

http://ayatseifelnasr.deviantart.com/

The dress:(Part 1)

2006-12-07T18:18:00.000+02:00

Just like everyday, I was walking down the street to take the bus to work. I was standing at the bus stop when I saw a little girl staring at me, consequently I looked at her and smiled and continued reading Women In Love, the book I bought last year at the book fair by D.H. Lawrence. Later, I over-heard the girl asking her mom whether I was an angel or not! Her mother laughed and asked "why honey?","She looks like one!" the girl said. The mother smiled, kissed her daughter and said,"Hun' we can't see angels,yet they're among us everywhere".The girl looked at me again then looked at the sky and sighed. I assumed that she thought I was an angel because I was wearing a white coat. I smiled for the thought and kept reading until the bus came.

I arrived at work early as usual, went up to the cafeteria & took my cappuccino back to my office. As I was reading the mail, Mariam rushed into the office screaming "The boss asked about you last night,why didn't you come to his daughter's reception party?". I didn't reply, I meandered for a few minutes while Mariam kept looking at me, "There's something different about you today, you look like.."
- "An angel?!" I interrupted her.
-She laughed and said "Well yes! Not an angel literary but u seem unusually peaceful".
- " So you say that I'm always stressed and nervous?"I asked smiling.
- " No sorry, I didn't mean so. I meant,everyday u seemed having a lot to think about. A lot of things going on your mind, but today you seem..".
- " Happy?",I interrupted again. " Well,yes I am. I woke up today having this feeling of relief". I thought for a moment and smiled, "And a little girl at the bus stop today thought I was an angel too!Maybe I'm considering becoming one!".We both laughed and then she went back to her office.

After a long day at work, I went back home exhausted. I had to cover all the work I had for tomorrow because I'll be going to my boss's daughter's wedding. I passed by Mac, ordered a meal and took it home. As I was crossing the street, I felt I was being stalked. I looked behind me and saw a man walking right behind me but not noticing me at all. So,I kept walking till I reached my block. Having a lot of things in my hand,I had to put Mac's meal and the diet coke on the floor until I get my keys out of the bag. As usual, my bag was a mess,everything I had in it from lip balm to a hairbrush!I kept looking in the bag till I heard their ring,so I kept moving my hand in the bag and got them! I opened the building's main door and walked up the stairs.But again I heard footsteps behind me so I stopped and the footsteps stopped. I looked around me and downstairs but there was no one. "I'm way too tired that I'm starting imagining things",I thought.I took a deep breath and climbed up to my apartment,opened the door,locked the door from the inside,and threw my bag and myself on the sofa!

The meal was too good that I didn't leave anything behind,I ate all of it! Or maybe because I was too tried and too hungry,whatever! Anyway I washed my face and washed up for the afternoon prayers. Surprisingly,this was the first time during my prayers that I didn't get distracted by my neighbors dog barking or me thinking of what I need to buy or do. I was so peaceful and calm. Anyway, after I prayed I opened my closet looking for something to wear for the wedding. " I remember I had a purple dress that I wore last year at my cousin's wedding",I thought; so I kept looking for it but I couldn't find it anywhere. "Never mind, anyway I needed to buy a new one, that dress wouldn't have suited me any longer now that I've lost 5 pounds",I said to myself. So, I decided to wake up early & go to the Mall to find something to wear and buy a pair of shoes for the dress.

The next morning it was a beautiful sunny day. I drank my cappuccino jumped into my favorite light blue jeans and a brown jacket. As usual I kept looking for something comfortable to wear in feet, "something that won't hurt my feet if I walked a lot,and easy to take off if I needed to try the sandals on..hmmm..aha!", a beautiful brown ballerina my best friend got me for my last birthday.Quickly I put it on and ran downstairs happily just as a little girl who's happy to go to buy a new dress for the feast! But,as usual I forgot my bag so I ran upstairs again, took the bag, locked the door behind me and went down.

The Mall was too crowded unusually, but I managed to find a couple of stores which had a collection of cocktail and evening dresses, but they were a bit pricey for me that if I got one of these dresses I won't afford to buy a pair of sandals for it, so I had to look for something a little less expensive for me. I walked all day in the Mall but couldn't find anything I liked and not expensive,so I decided to borrow a dress from a friend of mine who's almost about my size. As I was leaving,again I felt someone was watching me,so I looked behind me but it was too crowded to know who it was, so I ran out of the Mall.

I called Sara on her cell phone and she said that the dress is available and that I could drop by now if I wanted. So,again I was happy that I found something to wear for the night. On my way I bought Sara her favorite chocolate as I always do before I go to her place. I reached the building,rang on the intercom and she opened the door for me; and when I reached up to the 3rd floor I already found her standing in front of her apartment waiting for me. I kissed her, gave her the chocolate and we went in. She showed me a wonderful long yellow dress with a pair of golden sandals. I laughed out of joy when I tried it on and found that it perfectly fitted me,"And there's a purse too!",Sara said playfully showing me a little golden purse. I was so happy that I could scream! We sat and talked a little then I had to go to get ready for the wedding.

Since Sara's place wasn't too far from mine, I walked home. I was so happy that I forgot to buy something to have for lunch. As I was walking again I felt someone was walking behind me and this time I was certain.

....To be continued

Is it absurd art ?: "blank bed"

2006-12-04T17:22:00.000+02:00

Do you think this pic. is considered absurd art? what do u think the meaning behind it? When I first saw it in my friend's blog I was actually speechless and made me think "Am I gonna reach that stage?Am I gonna live like this?" I dun wanna tell you what's my interpretation of that pic so as not to distract you. So, just tell me wat did YOU think when you first saw it. Waiting for your feedback..

Inquiring about the 3rd step (Going nuts!)

2006-11-26T01:52:00.000+02:00

I'm happy,but why? Why now? Why not before? Why did everything go wrong? Why after all u've put me through I still feel this shiver when I hear ur voice? Why do u let go that easy every time u feel we're not meant to be,and why do u want me back again? Why are u that weak when it comes to commitment and why is it that easy to come back? Why can't I just accept the idea that maybe u're not the one and why is it so easy for me to accept ur pleas for forgiveness? Why can't I love u and why can't I hate u? Hate u? For what? For leaving me whenever u feel our love is too strong to handle all by urself? Who said u're all by urself,where am I? R u excluding me from ur life, or do I only feel this because I'm very into ur life? who said I don't love u..I do,but not for who u r but for whom u are craving to be. Nonsense what I'm talking about, am I still gonna wait for u to be someone whom u might never be?!! Yes I will coz I know u can, but why do I have all this faith in u? Why do I stick up to u and always be beside whenever u need me? Is it U who need me or the other way around? I need u? Do I? Why? For what you gave me before, or for what u still have to give? Are u still willing to give me,if not then why do u want me back? Oh yes, u didn't say u wanted me back! Hell no! Each time u say I love u is a promise of commitment! Ah yes, Ok,I do say I love u but I don't really mean it with what all it means but at that moment yes I'm loving you,why? Why is it only in a moment particularly that I love u that romantically and deeply? It's not that I feel something each and every single moment,but...it's not love, it's not deeply and passionately as always,why? Do u have the same feeling,the ups and downs? Do u,this time, really want to stick by me?Do u still wanna be part of me, my life? Do u ever wanna fight for what we had,have and will have? Do u wanna tire yourself for me? Am I always gonna have these doubts? Am I willing to tire myself to find the answers?God, help me!

2006-11-23T01:48:00.000+02:00

For all those gals who are frustrated by "Wust Al-balad" incident,here are 15 reason why it is great being a girl;) ..

1-U can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny.
2-U can quickly end any fight simply by crying.(Does this knock any doors:D!!)
3-U never have to open doors for men.
4-In the bus,U don't have to leave ur chair for a man.
5-U never have to spend a 2 month's salary on a ring!
6-In a cafe,if someone takes ur seat u don't have to hit them!
7-U can improve ur appearance with make up without ppl thinking u're a wierdo!
8-U don't have hair no ur back.( yeah grose!!)
9-U don't have to shave everyday.( I guess U don't have to shave from the begining!!)
10-U can dress urself without looking like geeks.
11-U'll never regret piercing ur ears.
12-U'll never regret a decision u take bec it always depends only on either on the heart or mind, not on a 3rd organ!!!!!(no offence)
13-U can hug ur friends without ppl wondering if U were gay.
14-On dates,U don't have to pay(bliss!!)
15- And last but not least,girls can be worshipped( I mean seriously in some countries women are worshipped for bieng the source of life and bla bla bla),so gals wait for the next post I'll write down the name of that country!!!

Let's go original!

2006-11-21T01:16:00.000+02:00

Vodafone live music presents SOS music concert (vol.2)---"Let's go original!" on friday the 24th of November at the Chinese garden Cairo International Conference Center (CICC). This all day music festival was a huge success on its first time in September, gathering a crowd of 8,000 people.

A lineup of eight bands will perform from afternoon till midnight, presenting a different range of music genres, from oriental to rock.

Wust el Balad, Nagham Masry, Ressala, Sahra, Jaffa Phonix, Wyvern, DaVinCi and Love and Peace are the eight performing bands.

I know Everyone is just saying "what the hell are u talking about!!Is this the time we need to go to gigs and concerts??!!U live in a totally different world." Actually no I don't I'm just so consumed that I need to do something new other than hanging out with friends and drinking latte or going to the movies(& it's not only me it's all of my friends). We just need to do something to break the routine which is gonna put us all in a spiritual coma. Now,whenever I hang out with my friends I just dun' have the effort to talk anymore,or maybe I lost interest..I dunno.Maybe I'm not the "fun" person to hang out with anymore,but it's not only me it's all of us. I guess this is what the government wanted us to be: physically, emotionally and spiritually destructed. Well, we all hope that you're happy now,so drink to it wishing you longitude in life! Cheers!!!

For more info, visit thewebsite: www.sosmusicfestival.com

For invitations, visit one of these distribution points:

- Virgin Mega store : City Stars Center all working hours

- Makani : El Mohandiseen from 12:00 pm to 09:00 pm

(Address: 9, Amr St. off Wadi el Nil, Mohandiseen, Giza)

- Makani : Heliopolis from 12:00 pm to 09:00 pm

(Address: 27, Hassan Sadek St. & 96 Merghani St. Heliopolis)

- Cairo Jazz Club from 05:00 pm to 09:00 pm

(Address: 197, 26th July st., Agouza)

2006-11-19T23:11:00.000+02:00

About what happened last October on the 1rst day of El-Eid in Wust Elbalad, I guess I needn't say anything about it. That incident created fear and terror in every girl's heart, including mine. How come I chose to live in my own country with my own free will and this is what I get in return : sexual harrasement everywhere I go whether verbally or physically! Can't I live in peace in my country anymore?Has the Egyptian street forgotten all the hostility, love and respect for all it's citizens,or their sexual appetite has blinded them from all the ethics they were raised upon?!!

I guess a lot of my friends have already discussed the topic on their blog ,so I got nothing to say anymore just go and check 'em out:

http://dustanddreams.blogspot.com/
http://salomatakmatak.blogspot.com/
http://malek-x.net/
http://www.misrdigital.com
http://www.speaksfreely.net

Man: Another big step of God's creations

2006-11-19T19:08:00.000+02:00

The imperfect creature created by God, also considered perfect because God creates perfection as taught by the great poet Alexander Pope. Man is considered to be a sinner since the beginning of creation- the forbidden fruit eaten by Adam and Eve. I’m not here to speak about religion’s history, but to remind you, just to leave an idea in your mind to remind you of the great sin of all humanity, the unknown theory.

First of all I want to ask, if you were given another chance, just one chance to reconsider our path in life, our way of living, and by this I mean our attitude towards religion, would we have changed it or by stupidity kept doing the same sins over and over again? Believe me I’ve asked myself this question a lot that one day I made this terrible mistake by taking the wrong decision and asked myself ‘if only I went back I time, I would have…’. I’m sure that you’ve thought of this millions of times throughout the day, but the question is if that happened, would you have seized the chance and took the right decision this time? Let me analyze this: if we say that chances come only once for each aspect in life, then the total is, let us say for instance, fifteen. I know I’m exaggerating but let us consider it the maximum number of chances a regular man could get throughout his life. Since Man is a sinner by nature and Man doesn’t learn from his past mistakes unless he sins for at least- and I say at least which may vary from a person to another according to the level of education, intelligence, the environment surrounding him…etc- once for every aspect in life, and I won’t say that he would use up all the fifteen chances, so let us say ten. The ordinary man will waste ten chances, which aren’t repeated during his lifetime, then five more chances are left. Do you think that a man will consider his previous mistakes and stop and think ‘no I have to change my attitude’ or ‘I got to learn and make use of my future chances (namely the last five chances)’? I don’t think so!! It’s not that I’m being pessimistic, but life has its seductive ways to lure Man out of the right track. Let’s say that a straight, open-minded, and smart person did make use of all the five chances, it won’t cover all the aspects in life, and I’m talking about five aspects out of fifteen.

So, you’re asking for a solution, or probably saying ‘what’s your intention behind all this?’ The solution I think should be known and understood early and quickly because you got to find a way out as it’s your life and your own way and no one is going to figure it out for you. It’s so simple people, repenting. God wrote about everything and every aspect in the Holy Qura’n. If you read and understood it quite well, or at least read the basics, you wouldn’t have fallen into sin, and this will raise the percentage of being on the right track, and increase the percentage of taking advantage of your chances say for instance eight out of fifteen chances, at least, will be used, which is good. At least you’re progressing, and by time you’ll be using twelve chances out of fifteen! It’s simple, quick, and effective, but there’s one more thing I need to say. If you watched the movie The Devil’s Advocate and understood the meaning behind it, you’ll understand what I mean. People, if they know it, then we sure do know it.

The BIG step

2006-11-19T18:52:00.000+02:00

As I steadily walked down
everything around me was perfect,
& I had no reason to frown
but from their eyes which I neglect.

Swaying steadily with fixed steps,
dancing merrily inside my heart
thinking "Finally this is it.
I wish it won't fall apart".

Shaking & trembling by his sight,
feeling His presence with all His might.
Praying He'll be there when the time
comes for me to sing my rhyme.

There he stood with a beautiful smile
& loving eyes that made me cry.
Saw his love and felt it too
when he told me,"I love you".

I simply looked at him and smiled,
"Am I dreaming? Is this true?".
Different thoughts I had in mind
but I was definite to say "I do".

wrote on the 19th of November 2006

Bambi Bambi Bambi Baambiii!!!

2006-11-19T13:22:00.000+02:00

A feather flying here and there
A feather flying everywhere.
Like a feather here I am
since I met you..my fair.

Red,yellow,orange and blue,
this is me since I met you
& since then I thought to try
closely to be a butterfly.

Swiftly, softly singing
to you, to please you
like a soft swift wind
passing to say,I love you

Little buds bloom too soon,
little blue birds fly over you.
The buds are shy,this is true
once they set their eyes on you.

13th of July 2003

Almost a Kindergarden song!Remind me to post a children's song I wrote when I was 12 but that one was in Arabic and really funny!

Knock Knock Knocking:stronger

2006-11-19T13:11:00.000+02:00

When I dream of you..or when I even hear your name,
I feel happy..and yet I feel so ashamed
remembering how I let you go
remembering how i left you
I surrendered my soul
and left myself in lame.

Is it you who was good and true,
or me who left the old one for the new?
remembering how i was so unfair,
remembering how I was such a fool,
& knowing I'm the one to blame.

This is how you left me,
but this isn't how I'm gonna be.
I'll be stronger,you'll see.
I'll be there standing tall
and you'll be down there begging me.

To be back together,that's a dream,
wake up honey, this is the new me.
Go away, go back to your cave.
To you I'm no more a slave.
It's just not like what it used to be!!

13th July 2003
Too young,too much emotions..wallah this is a waste!! I should have chosen acting much better I guess than writing poetry!!!

U raised me UP!!!!

2006-11-19T12:58:00.000+02:00

She was walking in the street
and nothing's bothering her,
when she rushed into someone
who used to have some care.

Asking her for forgiveness,but she refused
for all the wrong he did,and all the abuse.
He cried and cried, but these tears soon dried
coz they were fake, and again, he lied.

She said,"What you've done to me
as good as it can be
is a chance for me
to change my destiny"

As she was used to all of this,
and as she was cleaning his mess
she remembered all of the good things
they had and also his kiss.

But it was too late,they boy is gone.
He was her fate,but now there's none.

She ran and so she could reach him,
and there he stood waiting for her.
She knew that he'll be
the boy who used to care.

Again she said,"What you've done to me
as good as it could be
is a chance for me
to change my destiny".

When I read it, I thought it was funny.I mean how innoscent and cute I was living the pinky world with lots of flowers and greens!

Before even I knew how to walk!!:The dream

2006-11-19T12:46:00.000+02:00

I was walking around..the moment I saw you;
I was wondering what I should say.
I fell to the ground..the minute I knew that
all my dreams are fading away.

I had to...
find the time,find the life,
find the music to be
our road,our guide
to be our destiny.
But you knew that I knew
this is the place for me.
So you too, played a fool
and made my life a misery.

Cut it off now..coz i found that
I am finally so over you.
Baby let go now..let me show that
its a fact and I've found th truth.

So I had to...
find the time,find the life,
find the music to be
our road,our guide
to be our destiny.
But you knew that I knew
this is the place for me.
So you too, played a fool
and made my life a misery.

When I met him he was so sweet,
he charmed me swiftly and softly
and made my heart patient
by a thousand fairy tale.
He drew me a road of dreams,so..

I had to...
find the time,find the life,
find the music to be
our road,our guide
to be our destiny.
But you knew that I knew
this is the place for me.
So you too, played a fool
and made my life a misery.

Can't remember when exactly I wrote it but i guess I was in "sanwya amma" like 16 or 17 years old.

The step before tha 1rst (The door which I never opened)

2006-11-19T12:28:00.000+02:00

Like the sun and moon can never be together
Because I'm a loon, & that's what I'll e forever,
The word "us" can never be
coz there's nothing called you & me.

We were so good for each other,
& i dunno why we left one another.
You know I loved you so much
& love will never be like such.

You're too perfect, too good to be true,
& till now I dunno what has happened to you.
Is it something I did, or I didn't do?
or maybe there's a girl; I guess there's no place for two

So the word "us" can never be
coz there's nothing called you & me.

I guess you've thought of displacing the old,
or maybe you're fed up, that's what I've been told.
Is it something i did,or I did not?
and love will never be like such.

We were so good for each other,
& i dunno why we left one another.
You know I loved you so much
& love will never be like such.

But remember well and keep in mind,
a true Love is hard to find.
So, if you found someone who's good and true,
don't leave the old one for the new.

And the word "us" can never be
coz there's nothing called you & me.

written in November 2003

composed on the 7th of January 2004

*Each time I read or sing it I remember you ya Shima :D was a beautiful duet Hun'!

Would You like me to warp it for ya?

2006-11-19T00:51:00.000+02:00

There was once a guy who suffered from cancer, a cancer that culdn't be treated. He was 18 years old and he could die anytime. All his life, he was stuck in his house being taken cared of by his mother. He was so sick of staying at home and wanted to go out for once,so he asked his mother and she gave him permission.

He walked down his block and found a lot of stores. He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked by. Then he stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in,not at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat.

She looked up and asked,"Can I help you?". She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and wanted to kiss here right there. He said "Uh...Yeah...Umm...I would like to buy a CD."He picked once out and gave her money for it. "Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked,smiling her cute smile again. He nodded and she went to the back.

She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on,he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out; he really wanted to but couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he gathered all his courage and went to the store. he bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his number on the desk and ran out.

RRRING!!! The mother picked up the phne and said "Hello?".It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said,"You don't know?He passed away yesterday." The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother. Later in the day, the mother went into the boy's room bec. she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. When he opened the closet,she was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. Surprised to find all those CDs,she picked one up, sat down on the bed and started to unwrap it.

Inside,there was a CD, and as she took it out of the wrapping, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it. It said: "Hi...I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me?Love,Jacelyn." The mother opened another CD.Again there was a piece of paper,and it said the same "Hi...I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me?Love,Jacelyn."

Live everymoment as if it will be you last.

The best..is me!

2006-11-18T23:06:00.000+02:00

I stand at the window each morning

& see what the world turned to be

looking all around me

and thank God for who is me.

I.. I'm a girl at the prime of her age

I..I used to think that nothing's gonna change

But it did,a total turnabout

A change in my life,& I'm out of the cage.

You can laugh your heart out

For what I'm gonna say

You might not like it,so

You're free to leave or stay.

You are the one I lived for

For you I wanted to be wat I couldn't

Perfect it is,I couldn't,I just wouldn't

Change to something which is already me,or may.

But,impossible,it just can't be

This perfection you seek in me

God is perfect & so he creates perfections

& you had to accept what was perfect in me.

But it rained ,all of a sudden

& brought out all what's hidden

Somethings which were forbidden

You just couldn't wait to see.

& here I am,standing by the window

Seeing what the world turned out to be

Looking all around me

& thanking God for the perfection in me

(2nd of november 2006)

My best friend Nour was the first to read it n' he thinks that it would make an awesome rock track,anyone interested in composing the music :D?

2nd step:PART II (Miss You..)

2006-11-18T22:19:00.000+02:00

Miss you...
Miss you like the air

only when I'm deprived of it.
What am I to compare
the air with what i can't get!

Without you...
Without you I'm a lonely flower
in a dark vast desert.
If only I've got the power
to re-live the lost present.

I' ld give everything to set things right.
I' ld make you happy with all my might.
But, there's nothing I can do
that would bring me back to you

(11/06/06)

9:30 pm (again I was studying!!)

2nd step: That Day

2006-11-18T22:12:00.000+02:00

The day we met.

The day we dealt.

The day we knew.

The day we felt

The shining light,

The beating heart,

The singing birds-

The day was right,

The day we met,

The day we saw,

The thin’ we regret.

The thin’ is low,

The heart is flat,

The wind is calm,

The light is on,

The day has begun.

The reason why

The bird is shy,

The bird’s afraid,

The fright is none.

The sun is raised,

The moon is shine,

The beats are back,

The rhythm is on.

The sparks were high,

The beautiful sky,

The day is done,

The cause is gone.

The dream is over,

The night has come,

The line has lost,

The rain with dust

The heart is flat,

The life is black,

The stars went back

Down with the spark!

(6-6-2006!!)

Inspired by Mohamed R.(I was studying Practical Criticism for my finals at 9:49 pm and "nezel 3lya elwa7y"!!)

El awella Bismellah!! ( Confession)

2006-11-18T21:54:00.000+02:00

Leaving you is good, but loving you was better.

Though since then my pillow became wetter.

Every drop of tear, everyday of fear,

& Though u weren’t near, kept me in shelter.

For you it’s good, for me its better!

All the memories, all the days are gone.

You left me speaking though I wasn’t done.

Please don’t laugh coz you’re not the one.

The game is over & you’re all alone, hun’

Hating you is good, but loving you was better.

(November 2005)

Seriously,this was written in crisis.(Allah yer7amo ba2a,mahya elra7ma btgooz 3ala elmayet wel 7ayy,wala ih?!!!:D )

Baby steps towards what I think is the way to reality

2006-11-18T21:32:00.000+02:00

First of all I wanna thank all of u for visiting my blog. What made me consider creating a blog is that I wanted to write down my thoughts and publish them in an easy and rapid way. I've started writing down my journal (or shall we call it thoughts) since I was 14. However, it wasn't an easy task for me. At first I thought it was ridiculous writing down what I thought about people,theories,feelings or any other thing in life. I mean how come I write down my journal and keep it to myself for only me to read after like 2 or 3 years or whatever. I was too young to realize how precious these things become by time and what memories they bring us(whether they were good or bad,funny or mournful...) still eventually it would make us smile.

So, here I am today, publishing what I wrote and how I used to think half a decade ago(i.e 5 years for all those who are looking it up right now!). Although some of my posts would sound ridiculous, cute, amusing, pathetic or whatever; although there would be a lot of spelling or grammatical mistakes (& no I'm not gonna fix 'em), yet I know that some of them you would find interesting and would remind you of some memory you had when you were a teen.

Yet,not all of my posts are gonna be about my teen hood. Some are gonna be a couple of years old or it could be yesterday's thoughts,feelings or theories.All I want from you is enjoy and feel free to write down whatever you think which would be very helpful.

With All my love to You all.